Applying to college is a significant milestone, but it can also be a stressful process that brings up a milieu of emotions, some positive and some negative. Fear is perhaps the most toxic emotion to experience in the admissions process.
Today we discuss the five types of fear you may feel as you go through college admissions and share advice on overcoming them.
Fear of the Unknown
Lack of knowledge about the admissions process and its outcomes creates uncertainty. Students and parents often confide in us that they feel they are submitting an application into a black box. Certainly, how a college chooses who to admit can seem a mystery. But there are lot of other unknowns in the process as well, from small things like what certain essay questions are (really) asking, to bigger things like the actual cost of attending (how much financial aid you will receive).
Manage the fear of the unknown by educating yourself, planning ahead, and staying present. Learn as much as you can about application steps, deadlines, and the schools you’re considering. Make sure you obtain the information from reliable sources such as the college’s own website, College Board, and educational professionals (counselors, teachers, educational consultants). The Internet, especially social media, can be full of misinformed anecdotes and biases and may quickly lead you down rabbit holes.
Create a timeline with important deadlines and milestones to make the process feel more predictable and manageable. Mark when the application is due for each of the schools you are applying to, and work backwards to plan out your essays, recommendation letters, and reporting of grades and tests. There are online tools such as College MatchPoint, but a simple spreadsheet will do, too.
Focus on the tasks and what you have to complete today. This will make you feel more in control and give you a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day. No matter how unpredictable the future is, you will have more and more certainty as you move through your timeline.
Fear of Judgment
The college application process may feel like the ultimate judgment for your high school career, maybe even you as a person, although totally an overstatement. It takes a lot of courage to present your honest and true self to the admission officers, sharing your most formative experiences and revealing your deepest dreams and hopes. In other words, you are being vulnerable.
Besides wondering how you may look to the admissions officers, and what would happen if you are rejected from your dream school, you also worry about the expectations of your parents, teachers, and peers, who may have different ideas about where you should go or what you should do.
Manage the fear of judgment by shifting your perspective, focusing on your growth, and building a strong support system. Remember that admissions officers are not looking for perfection — they want to understand your unique story and potential. Your application should highlight your strengths and passions, which will make you stand out in the applicant pool.
View the college application process as a chance to reflect on your accomplishments and aspirations rather than as a performance to impress others. You will be asking a lot of questions to yourself and getting to know yourself better as you work through putting the application together. It’s a journey of self-discovery rather than a mere showcase of your accomplishments.
Surround yourself with people who truly believe in you and are willing to listen, understand, and offer you advice from a non-judgmental perspective. Talk with family, friends, and mentors, and share how you feel.
Fear of Failure
The college application process should highlight your strengths but may also expose your weaknesses. This can lead to self-doubt as you wonder if your grades, test scores, and extracurricular achievements are ever “good enough.”
You may also feel overwhelmed by the application process and start to doubt your ability to write essays, secure recommendations, or get things done on time.
Manage the fear of failure by reframing and focusing on your strength, breaking things down into manageable bits, and celebrating small wins.
Instead of fixating on the perceived weaknesses, emphasize what makes you stand out. Also understand that rejection from a particular school is not a measure of your worth but a step in finding the right fit for you. Admissions decisions are often based on a combination of factors, including the institution’s needs, not just your qualifications. You can increase your chance of landing in the right school where you will thrive by analyzing what you want with the personality and culture of the school, diversifying your options, and keeping an open mind.
Dividing the application process into manageable steps with specific deadlines will make the process less daunting. Completing parts of your application, like finishing an essay or submitting forms, are achievements worth recognizing. And completing the college application process itself is a success, regardless of the outcome. There’s no falling short if you’ve given it your best.
Fear of Missing Out
As you go through the college admissions process, there are going to be moments where you ask the “What ifs”. What if you added a few more schools top your application list? What if you wrote a different topic for your essay? What if you asked a different teacher for the recommendation? What if you went to a different school?
The fear of making the “wrong” choice and regretting not choosing another path can derail your focus away from your goals and delay your decisions. Manage it by trusting your research, remembering flexibility, and staying curious.
Spend some time understanding the schools you’re applying to, their culture, available majors and activities to ensure a good match. You can do this with both online research and in-person visits to the campuses where you can talk to current students and professors. Only apply to schools you’d be thrilled to attend if you are accepted, including the so-called “safety schools”.
College decisions are not irreversible. Transferring schools is certainly a possibility, and most schools do not require you to commit to a major at the time of application.
Embrace the college admissions process as a journey of discovery. Your path and goals may also change as you learn more about yourself, and that doesn’t mean the decision you’ve made is wrong in any way.
Fear of Commitment
The flip side of the fear of missing out is the fear of commitment. The thought of being tied to one school or path for the long term can feel overwhelming. Decision to attend a college comes with social, emotional and financial consequences. So the fear of commitment may reflect your concerns about moving away from family, making friends in a new environment, managing your time and study-life balance, and incurring debt.
Manage the fear of commitment by using visualizations, approaching analysis rationally, and taking it one step at a time. Imagining yourself at the schools you’re considering. How does it feel to be walking through the quad? Hanging out with dormmates? Practicing sports on the field? Visualizations can help you ease doubt and gain clarity. Trust your instinct.
After you’ve received the decisions from the colleges, come back to the drawing board and review the factors that went into building your application list. Among things like academic rigor, reputation, geography, student body composition, and cost, what matters the most to you? How does each of the schools you are considering weight on these factors? A rational analysis will overcome the emotional distraction of fear. But be mindful not to fall into the trap of paralysis of analysis.
Also remember that committing to a college doesn’t mean committing to a single major, career, or life path. Take your time to reflect and see the big picture of how college fits into your overall goal and what you hope to accomplish in life.
Final Advice
It’s natural to feel fear during such an important life step. If fear arises as you are going through the college admissions process, don’t ignore or suppress it. Acknowledge that it’s there, try to understand where it comes from, and set it aside so it doesn’t dominate your experience.
Shine a light on the unknown by seeking information, reflecting on your goals, and leaning on your support systems. Use techniques such as visualization, meditation, and reframing to transform fear into motivation as you navigate this exciting new chapter with confidence and curiosity.